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www.titlovi.com
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Get out of the way!
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Get out of the way!
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Hey! Get out of the way!
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Damn road hog! Get out!
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Get out of the way!
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Get out!
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I'll report you to the... Ow!
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I'll report... Stop it!
I'll report you to the police!
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Morning, Lancelot. Good holiday?
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- No.
- Catch anything?
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The only fish that came my way was an old trout
in the bar and she was the wrong side of 50.
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Can't have been using the right fly.
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- Anyway it's nice to see you back again.
- Liar.
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Don't forget the ceremony. Ten o'clock.
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What's that?
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Get... Get out of the way!
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Damn and blast!
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Morning.
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Shift that dog's-meat wagon of yours.
I want to get out.
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You'll have to wait for us now.
We've got a casualty here.
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Hello.
- Are you all right?
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Yes, thank you.
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I'm terribly sorry to cause all this trouble.
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Don't worry. We'll look after you.
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Are you all doctors?
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Oh, yes, yes.
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Come on. All right, come on. Steady with her.
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Don't worry. We'll look after you.
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D Avey please D Avey.
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Morning, Matron.
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Lady Willoughby won't like it.
She won't like it at all.
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After all, the old boy did raise
most of the money.
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Morning, Matron.
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Sir Lancelot. I hope you enjoyed your holiday.
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Not in the least. Don't ask if I caught any fish.
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- Sorry I'm late. Good holiday? Caught any fish?
- No!
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But you have caught your trousers.
I'll get a stitch put in.
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You'll do no such thing. The only person
who does decent stitching here is myself.
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- It's ten o'clock.
- I'm aware of that. What's new in the wards?
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- But you can't do your round now, Sir Lancelot.
- And why not?
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The ceremony, sir.
I've got some notes on the procedure.
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Good grief, boy, I don't need any notes.
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This is a foundation stone, not a gallstone.
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That's good. That's very good.
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It's wonderful.
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- Do those belong to that casualty in there?
- Yes, sir.
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I'll take them in.
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- Good morning.
- Good morning.
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I'm Dr. Sparrow.
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I must have done something dreadful.
You're the fifth.
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No, I'm the first.
These aren't really doctors at all.
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Oh, aren't they? What a shame.
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Lots of learning to do, eh, Gillibrand?
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Yes, sir.
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Excuse me.
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But it's my ankle that hurts, Doctor.
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I can't hear a thing with these on.
What did you say?
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It's only my ankle.
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Erm... Why are you doing this?
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Er...
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Why am I doing this, Gillibrand?
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- Practice, sir?
- Thoroughness, Gillibrand! Thoroughness!
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One obvious injury doesn't mean to say
there isn't another.
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You have to test for everything:
Lungs, heart, spine...
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and all the other organs.
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But apart from my ankle, I feel perfect.
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Oh, but you are. Quite perfect.
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Now, you all go and have a look at
the X-ray screen and see what you can find.
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Is there something broken?
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No, no. A minor sprain. No harm done.
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There was to the car. I think it's a write-off.
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Where were you going? London?
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Yes.
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It isn't going to show, is it?
I have to be so careful about legs in my job.
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W- W-What do you do?
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A dancer?
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- Model.
- Oh.
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What treatment are you going to give me?
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Bandage it and elevate the leg for a few hours.
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By this evening, you should be fit for anything.
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Er... W-Would you like me to drive you
up to London?
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- Would you really?
- It's my night off.
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Oh, that's marvelous!
What a fabulous coincidence!
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Well, now, what's the matter with you?
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They say I've slipped a disc.
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They'd have said you had sciatica
when I was a boy. How did you do it?
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- Jumping.
- Over a gate?
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Out of a window.
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Oh. I suppose the husband came in
through the front door.
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Certainly not! There was a fire!
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Aha. Well gentlemen.
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The patient complains of a slipped disc.
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What treatment would you prescribe? You.
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Bed rest... followed by traction...
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...followed by a spinal support...
followed by physiotherapy.
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Followed by no improvement at all.
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Physiotherapy! Palliative poppycock!
When do you take your finals, boy?
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h six week s, sir.
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You'll be taking them again in six months
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- if you talk drivel like that.
- But in a mild case...
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Rubbish!
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There's only one thing for him. The knife!
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Oh, don't worry. I'll fit you in somewhere.
Good morning to you.
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Now, what have we here?
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Colectomy you performed
before you went away.
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Ah, let's have a look. Take your paws away!
We aren't playing animal grab!
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Beautiful. Had to change knives midstream
with you, you know.
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Look at this, gentlemen.
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A perfect cut.
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How are you feeling?
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Ever so tired.
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So was I after I'd stuffed all that lot
back inside you.
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It was like trying to coil a fire hose
into an overnight bag. Good morning.
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I remember when I was in the Navy.
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For intestinal obstruction,
we didn't pray for dry weather.
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We didn't pray for wet, we just prayed for wind.
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- What are you doing here, Simon?
- Reminding you of a ceremony, sir.
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And of a very old, old joke.
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All right, I'm coming.
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Stuart... Don't let him worry you too much.
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He once threw the whole book at me.
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I survived.
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Ah, Simon. I wish you'd be so kind as to park
your perambulating sardine can
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- in the proper space reserved for it.
- I couldn't get out of my car.
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Sorry, I was a bit pushed this morning.
Good morning, Nurse.
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Good morning, Dr. Sparrow.
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- Rather nice-looking.
- Why do your activities
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centre around the female sex?
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- Because I find them attractive.
- Attractive?
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- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
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Doctors have got no right to be attracted.
It clouds the brain and unsteadies the hand.
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Well, it's never happened to me.
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And I take my job as seriously as the next man,
let me tell you.
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- Thank you, Dr. Sparrow.
- You're welcome.
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Revolting.
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You might find it rejuvenating.
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- Morning, Clive. Morning, Johnny.
- Morning.
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Morning, Lady Willoughby.
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Before you proceed, Sir Lancelot,
I wish to register a formal complaint.
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What's the matter? That colporrhaphy
I did for you not keeping out the rain?
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- Really!
- Delighted to hear it.
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Can't afford a leak at your age.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
I now declare this stone well and truly...
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- Who perpetrated this monstrosity?
Is something wrong sir?
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My name is Spratt, with an S!
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S for spleen!
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P for prostate! R for rump!
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A for a... poplexy!
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And two Ts for two...
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Who contrived this disgusting insult?
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Sir Lancelot, we'll speak to the master mason
and he'll alter it, I promise you.
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If he doesn't, I'll alter him, I promise you
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Ladies and gentlemen...
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with the minimum of confidence,
I declare this stone well and truly laid.
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Speech.
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Ladies and gentlemen. Although work
on our new wing has already begun,
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a substantial amount of money is still needed.
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It is up to you to find it.
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Doubtless if I apply pressure
in the right quarter...
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- Watch it!
- Aaah!
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All right, Nobby! Get the crane over!
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I'm going to sue those ruddy contractors until
they haven't got a fly button to call their own.
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Go easy, you dopes! I'm in mortal agony!
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- Shall I send for morphia, Doctor?
- Send for a bottle of brandy.
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You'll have hot, sweet tea and like it.
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But, Simon, I'm feeling faint. I can hardly speak.
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Watch it, you clots! I'm not a corpse yet!
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I've never had a slipped disc in my life.
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- News for you, you've got one.
- What are you going to do about it?
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I seem to remember in cases like this
you'd recommend the knife.
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Nonsense! Nobody's sticking a knife in my back!
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Though most of my colleagues
have being trying to for years.
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- You're going to be stuck here for a while.
- What? h this tumbledown lazar house?
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- Stop this contraption!
- Sir Lancelot, what are you doing?
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I'm trying to get out
while I've still got the strength.
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Thank you.
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Oh, it's sweet of you to drive me up.
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Is this service always included
in your treatment, Doctor?
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This is not treatment. And I am not your doctor.
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- You belong to the hospital. Doesn't she?
- Oh, yes, yes.
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Shirts, skirts, bras, pants.
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Advertising's such a bore, really.
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I want to give it all up and get into movies.
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- What, you mean be a film star?
- Mm.
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- Eugh!
- Well, not immediately, of course.
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I might be able to help you there, you know.
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Because I know quite a lot of film people.
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- Professionally, I mean.
- Do you?
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Mm.
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You know, Simon, I'm beginning to think
you could be rather a fabulous sort of person.
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- Thank you again for bringing me down.
- Oh, not at all. I'll see you up.
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Oh, no, I can manage.
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Oh, I think that ankle needs a little support.
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Doctor?
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No, friend.
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All right. Oh, can you get my bag?
It's in the back somewhere.
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Bag, bag... Oh, yes...
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Oh, Lord!
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What's the matter?
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That's a police car.
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So? They can't arrest us. We're not burglars.
We're just sitting.
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You don't have to be burglars these days.
You just have to sit.
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Good evening, Officer. I was, er...
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Just finding this young lady's handbag.
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Uh-huh. Are you a doctor, sir?
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Yes, I am.
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But even... er, doctors are human.
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Mm-hm.
I wonder if you'd care to come with me, sir.
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- Er, yes, I would, but I-I have explained to you...
- There's an old lady passed out
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on the pavement just down the street, sir.
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We spotted the label on your windscreen.
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Er, we have got the right bag, have we, sir?
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No, we haven't.
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When am I going to see you again?
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23B.
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Good morning.
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Who are you?
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I'm the physiotherapist.
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I did not order one.
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Yes, but the doctor did.
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I do not require physiotherapy.
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I said I do not require physiotherapy!
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Yes, Sir Lancelot, I heard you.
And so, I imagine, did the rest of the block.
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Now, tell me. Are you in pain?
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Of course I'm in pain! I've got a slipped disc!
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I saw the X-rays but it's nothing much.
We'll soon get you better.
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- Don't do that!
- What have you got there?
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Madam?
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I can scarcely give you treatment
through two layers of blanket, can I?
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You're not going to give me any treatment -
and don't shake my bottle of wine.
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Where are you going?
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Well, there are other patients who need me,
you know, Sir Lancelot.
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Come here. I wish to discuss my case with you.
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There's a slight narrowing
of your L5-S1 disc space.
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You've made progress
with traction and bed rest.
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Now you need massage and physiotherapy.
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- Right?
- I was going to do the talking, madam.
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And so you shall, Sir Lancelot.
Now, turn over, will you?
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I refuse.
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- Ow!
- It's three and a half guineas for half an hour.
242
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,593
You're private.
243
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,477
I don't appear to be.
244
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,074
Now, roll over, hm?
245
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,991
Oh, very well. Oh...
246
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,270
There we are.
247
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,353
That's it. Now put your arms by your side.
248
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,838
- What are you doing?
- I'm pulling down your pajamas.
249
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,876
Don't worry, I've lived.
250
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,439
- Oh!
- That it?
251
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,476
- Yes.
- Right.
252
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,516
Oh...
253
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,076
Oh...
254
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,756
Oh...
255
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,037
Don't let me interrupt the flow, Sir Lancelot.
256
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,474
Mmm...
257
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:02,913
What's your name?
258
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,153
Iris Marchant.
259
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,196
Mmm...
260
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,996
- Stuart?
- Yes, sir?
261
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,310
There's a patient in for investigation.
I'd like you to have a look at her.
262
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,072
Me? Why me?
263
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,596
- Because I'd like your opinion, that's why.
- Thank you, sir.
264
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,638
Here's the letter from her doctor.
It's not very cheerful.
265
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,269
Give her all the attention you can and be gentle.
She's very frightened.
266
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,558
Her husband's apparently more worried about
his pigeon loft than her. You know the type.
267
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,108
So you haven't really felt any pain at all,
Mrs. Parry.
268
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,191
No, that's right. I can't say that I have.
269
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,437
Wait a minute, though.
Yes, I did feel a pain once.
270
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,555
When?
271
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,596
On a Sunday, it was. After chapel.
272
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,398
Where?
273
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,516
I remember now. It was in the kitchen.
274
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,831
No, I mean what part of you?
Your chest, your stomach, your head?
275
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,836
Oh, it...
276
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,956
Come here.
277
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,715
Course my husband didn't really mean to.
278
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,950
He was only being playful, you understand.
279
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,235
L- I don't think we're getting very far, are we?
280
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,392
Aren't we? I thought
we were getting on swimming, like.
281
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,835
You're a lovely little doctor, aren't you?
282
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,195
Here, go on. You finish these.
283
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,236
I only like the red ones.
284
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,156
There you are, my dear.
285
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,435
Got your tea? Made you comfortable?
286
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,636
- Yes, thank you, Doctor.
- Good.
287
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,473
Mrs. Whittaker, this is Mr. Stuart.
288
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,915
- He's a colleague of mine.
- How do you do?
289
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,878
He'll help me find out what the trouble is
and keep an eye on you.
290
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,871
- All right?
- Thank you.
291
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,633
Good. Well, I'll leave you two
to get to know each other.
292
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,915
- Erm, I'll speak to you later.
- Yes.
293
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,831
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
294
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,199
- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Good afternoon, sir.
295
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,590
You'll be glad to hear
Sir Lancelot is making excellent progress.
296
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,989
However...
297
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:19,517
It'll be some time before he's fully recovered so...
until then, you'll have to put up with me.
298
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,439
And I want no questions
about the bleeding time from you.
299
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,671
Where's this case we thought
might exercise these intellects?
300
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,228
- Over here, Doctor.
- Who's the dresser on the case?
301
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,357
- I am, sir.
- Oh. Everything teed up, Gillibrand?
302
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,670
Now, a nice, clear, concise history.
303
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,832
Symptoms, signs, diagnosis, prognosis
and treatment.
304
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,957
Er, this is Mrs. Parry, sir.
305
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,635
She's a housewife.
Er... 42... and she's had ten children.
306
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,039
Nine.
307
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,838
- You said ten.
- Did I?
308
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,595
Perhaps it is ten, then. Let's see.
There's Blodwen and Owen...
309
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:57,071
Never mind, Mrs. Parry. You work it out
for yourself and we'll continue. Carry on.
310
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,515
Well, there's no history of previous illness, sir.
311
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,272
- Any operations?
- Er none.
312
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,588
I've had ten.
313
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,035
- You said none.
- No ten.
314
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,078
I was forgetting little Caradog.
I had him two years ago.
315
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,720
That reminds me,
I haven't seen him about lately.
316
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,555
Carry on.
317
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,198
Er...
318
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,637
Well, the patient complains of
periodic swelling of the abdomen, sir.
319
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,551
Apart from her pregnancy?
320
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,517
Well... Yes, sir.
321
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,953
Any other symptoms?
322
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,268
Er, only swelling.
323
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,636
And wind, sir.
324
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,835
Now even with these
325
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,196
meager details which Mr. Gillibrand
has managed to elicit,
326
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,272
we should be able to manage
one first tentative diagnosis.
327
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,509
Anyone?
328
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,431
Chronic cholecystitis.
329
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,839
Why?
330
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,117
Er... w-w-well, the patient, sir.
331
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,919
She satisfies the six Fs of gall bladder disease.
332
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,956
Yeah, you're right.
333
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,713
Now, each of you give me F. One F each.
334
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,313
- Fair.
- Fat.
335
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,913
- Fertile.
- Female.
336
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,513
Forty.
337
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,079
Come on, Gillibrand!
338
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,515
I think they've given it to you!
339
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,115
Fair, fat, female, fertile, forty... F.
340
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,077
Fff...
341
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,832
Flat?
342
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,876
Me? Flat?
343
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,359
Flatulence, you cretin!
344
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,634
Yes, sir.
345
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,597
Now for the examination.
346
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:17,868
What are we looking for?
347
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,428
- Fluid in the peritoneum?
- How do we test for it?
348
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:24,513
Put one hand on one side, flick the other
and see if you can feel the vibration.
349
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,750
And if we feel it, what do we call it?
350
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,637
Er, a fluid thrill.
351
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,472
Right. Now, Miss er...
352
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,152
Wick.
353
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,312
Would you like to try for a fluid thrill, Miss Wick?
354
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,676
Ooh! Cold!
355
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,553
Er, did you feel a thrill?
356
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,959
No.
357
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,996
No, I didn't think you would, somehow.
358
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,429
Now we should listen for borborygmy,
which is?
359
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:58,832
It's the sounds made by gas in the intestine
when there is hypermotility, sir.
360
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,399
Great.
361
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,395
Can you hear any?
362
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,910
Ooh, there's a red one! Fancy that!
363
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,831
I thought I'd had the last of those.
364
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,753
Right, gentlemen, you come round here,
you three.
365
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,157
Mrs. Parry...
366
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,156
Do you keep your bowels open regularly?
367
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,196
Regular as clockwork.
368
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,633
Every fortnight.
369
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,793
What do you take for constipation?
Castor oil or cascara?
370
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,314
Oh, nothing like that.
371
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,356
I just take my knitting.
372
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,356
- Simon.
- Mm?
373
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,476
I think you are absolutely fabulous.
374
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,994
Good. Why?
375
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,719
Because if you hadn't known someone...
376
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,997
...who knew someone...
... who told someone about me,
377
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,469
we wouldn't be on our way to meet
Mr. Luther Heilbronn.
378
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,516
Don't be depressed. We've got a date later.
379
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,797
- I wonder what he's like.
- Successful, unscrupulous, predatory...
380
00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,871
- Dreamy.
... middle-aged, overweight,
381
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,554
- bald-headed and potbellied.
- You haven't met him!
382
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,428
I've no intention of meeting anyone who makes
a film called The Sorrows Of Salome.
383
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,399
It's going to be a fabulous film.
Enormous great big epic, all in Rome.
384
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,233
Salome never got within
a thousand miles of Rome.
385
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,995
Well, she does in the film.
So shall I, if I'm one of her handmaidens.
386
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,116
What precisely does a handmaiden do?
387
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,639
Hand things, I suppose.
388
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,312
Yes, I suppose.
389
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,828
- Who is playing Salome?
- Genevieve Milton.
390
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,957
She was unknown a few years ago, just like me.
Now she's very big.
391
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,998
- That's apparent.
- Mr. Heilbronn discovered her in a coffee bar.
392
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,433
I'd have thought it was a dairy.
393
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,478
But Mr. Heilbronn is getting worse every minute.
394
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,516
Yeah.
395
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,556
He's practically speechless.
396
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,471
Well, where's the hotel doctor?
397
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,357
Tell them to send out for one.
398
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,715
- Send out for one.
- Tell 'em...
399
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,638
Who? Harry...
400
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,269
There's some dame down at the desk
said you asked her to come up and see you.
401
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,952
Tell her I'll call her tomorrow.
402
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,471
Or next week. OK, sometime never,
what the hell? Tell her...
403
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,232
Tell her "what the hell".
404
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,959
I'm afraid Mr. Heilbronn can't see you after all.
405
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,598
- What?
- Come along, Delia.
406
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,035
These theatricals are very unreliable. Come on.
407
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,793
No, no, no! That's absolutely impossible!
408
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,156
- Mr. Heilbronn said...
- He can't say anything. He's lost his voice.
409
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,196
And I've lost the hotel doctor.
410
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,033
- You want a doctor for Mr. Heilbronn?
- Yes, madam.
411
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,076
I've got one.
412
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,877
You can't strip off here!
413
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,916
- What are you up to?
- I've got you a job!
414
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,833
Why don't you let me
do the talking tonight, Harry?
415
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,111
Because the TV millions
don't want to hear you talk, baby.
416
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,270
- It's an interview, isn't it?
- Yeah.
417
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,874
Why shouldn't I talk? I can
418
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,916
You're strictly for the eye, honey.
419
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,956
It's the doctor.
420
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,629
- Dr. Robin?
- Sparrow.
421
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,077
- Thank you.
- Now, Doctor, I've got this condition...
422
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,037
- Yes...
- Good evening, Mr. Heilbronn.
423
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,395
Oh, this is Miss... Er, my nurse.
424
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,119
- Come in. Sit down, Nurse.
- Mr. Heilbronn, I've been...
425
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,758
Sit down, Nurse.
426
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,310
Now, Mr. Heilbronn,
I understand we're having trouble with our voice.
427
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,675
I don't know about you, but mine you've gotta fix.
428
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,992
- There's lots of dollars hanging on my interview.
- We'll see they drop in the right place.
429
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,640
Would you mind opening your mouth for me?
Wide.
430
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,312
Wider. That's it.
431
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,676
I owe everything I am to Mr. Heilbronn.
432
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,159
He found me...
433
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,555
...he molded me, he made me...
434
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,558
...into a kind of symbol.
435
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,279
I hope your television viewers
won't be disappointed
436
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,396
when you see it exposed in my new film.
437
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,353
Exposed?
438
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,592
Well, Mr. Heilbronn, your larynx, your throat
and your vocal cords are as sound as a bell.
439
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,636
Then why the hell don't it ring?
440
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,316
Have you had a recent... emotional upset?
A sudden shock?
441
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,356
I don't have shock s - I give 'em.
442
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,396
Imagine that.
443
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,914
- Can I use your telephone?
- Help yourself.
444
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,912
Mr. Heilbronn, I hear you've been casting
a new film. The Sorrows Of Salome?
445
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,911
Welbeck 2434.
446
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,275
I wondered if you decided who'll play Salome.
447
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,918
Salome I've got.
448
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,230
I'm still looking for a John The Baptist.
449
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,073
Forty actors I've seen -
not a Baptist among them.
450
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,988
- Do you know of a John the Baptist, Nurse?
- Well, no, but...
451
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,514
But I've got a marvelous suggestion for...
452
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,989
Medical counter, please.
453
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,036
- Mr. Heilbonn.
- Shh!
454
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:36,315
It's him.
455
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,436
It's him.
456
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,475
Spirituality in the eyes. Serenity...
457
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,516
I said medical counter!
458
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,592
Honey! Come in here! We got him! We got him!
459
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,398
What have we got, honey?
460
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,198
Oh he's cute!
461
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,431
- Who is he?
- Who is he? He's John the Baptist,
462
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,112
that's who he is.
463
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,355
You've found your voice again, Mr. Heilbronn.
464
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,874
I've not only found my voice, I've found you.
465
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,428
I'm going to take you... I'm going to mould you...
466
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,075
- I told you they were unreliable.
- I'll make you the biggest, the greatest,
467
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,116
the superb-est symbol!
468
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,556
- Delia, out.
- John... Where are you going?
469
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,916
- Simon, there's no hurry.
- Are you kidding?
470
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,072
Mr. Heilbronn, you keep your voice
and I'll keep my head.
471
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,036
But, John!
472
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:31,917
John!
473
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,237
A beautiful ward, Sister. My congratulations.
474
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,276
Thank you, Sir Lancelot.
475
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,436
Oh, er... Matron.
476
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,556
You're looking a little tired, my dear.
477
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,631
- Am I?
- Mustn't overdo things, you know.
478
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,875
- Good morning, Sir Lancelot.
- Good morning.
479
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,791
It's nice to see you in harness again.
480
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,348
Thank you.
Although, of course, my thanks should go
481
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,829
- to Miss Marchant.
- How is your back?
482
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,070
Not a twinge. And yourself?
483
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,752
Oh, very well, thank you.
484
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,796
Oh, splendid.
485
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,838
I'm afraid I have to visit
another one of my patients.
486
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,876
Of course, of course. I am so sorry.
487
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,156
Charming girl.
488
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,356
Look out. Here he comes.
489
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:30,395
Well, Mr. Lewis.
490
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,198
How are we this morning?
491
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,159
- Mustn't grumble, sir.
- You hear that, gentlemen? "Mustn't grumble. "
492
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,196
And after all he's been through.
493
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:42,319
He's the sort of patient
that makes a surgeon's life really worthwhile.
494
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,073
You'll come to understand that shortly, Stuart.
495
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,116
Yes, sir.
496
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,156
You're cured, Mr. Lewis.
497
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,277
But you needn't hurry.
You can stay as long as you like.
498
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,316
We're here to do what we can for you.
499
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,073
- Aren't we, Sister?
- Naturally, Sir Lancelot.
500
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,390
Goodbye, Mr. Lewis. And good luck to you.
501
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,948
'Ere, what's come over him?
He used to swear at 'em all like blue murder!
502
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,439
There's something wrong.
503
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,629
And I don't like it.
504
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,551
Nor do I.
505
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,437
Makes me feel rotten.
506
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,156
Melody in F
507
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,390
Here's the doctor to see you, Sir Lancelot.
508
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,311
Morning, Lancelot.
509
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,675
Go away. I didn't send for anybody.
510
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,678
Now, then, what's all this about
the Lady Macbeth routine?
511
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,231
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Mrs. Clapper says that you are sleepwalking.
512
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,156
Sleepwalking? Hollyhock s!
513
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,714
Eh? Sleepwalking? Me?
514
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,159
- That could be dangerous.
- It could be damaging.
515
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,959
You don't mean to tell me that I've...
516
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,793
I've been wandering around without any...
517
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,633
No, no. No. Just around the house, apparently.
That's all.
518
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,791
Thank God for that.
519
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:48,231
I don't mind admitting, now you're here, Simon,
that er... I'm not myself. Not at all myself.
520
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,790
Well, let's have a look. Come on.
How long's it been going on for?
521
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,440
Well, ever since I left that blasted hospital.
522
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,751
I'm sure I was poisoned.
The food there's not fit to manure rose beds.
523
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,592
Have you taken any measures yourself?
524
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,513
The usual ones. Purging, inhalation, sweating...
525
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,556
All quite useless.
526
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,872
What's that?
527
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,313
Garlic.
528
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,960
Rub you round a bowl,
you'd make a great salad.
529
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,996
You know...
530
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,152
You're quite wrong
to despise these old folk remedies.
531
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,038
I've got a maiden aunt who swears by garlic.
532
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,076
Never without a bit next to the skin.
533
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,390
I'm convinced that's why she's lived to be 92.
534
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,948
Perhaps that's why she's still a maiden at 92.
535
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,916
Ooh.
536
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,278
- Heart all right?
- Mm?
537
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,193
- Heart all right?
- Say, "One, one, one. "
538
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,157
One, one, one.
539
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,198
- Now louder.
- One, one, one!
540
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,716
Very interesting.
541
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,358
Have you found anything?
542
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,399
Had any pins and needles, dizziness,
headaches? Waterworks all right?
543
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:08,794
Er... Yes... no... no... yes.
544
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,836
Ooh!
545
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,430
- Have you made a diagnosis?
- I don't know yet.
546
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:19,275
See what your exercise tolerance is like.
Come on. Up you get. Come and stand on this.
547
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,032
Get up.
548
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,436
Up again.
549
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,354
Now do that 30 times while I go
and borrow something from Mrs. Clapper.
550
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,000
- 30 times? Do you want to kill me, Simon?
- Yes.
551
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,036
Oh, no...
552
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,076
Oh, no.
553
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,396
Three...
554
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,471
Four...
555
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,398
Mrs. Clappe?
556
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,756
- Yes, Doctor?
- Have you got a pin or a needle I could borrow?
557
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,796
Did you have to cut him?
558
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,350
No, no. I just want something for a test.
Anything sharp will do.
559
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,396
Let me see...
560
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,836
Would you like this?
561
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,476
I think he'd love it.
562
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,630
Ooh!
563
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,995
Good grief! What are you going to do with that?
564
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,514
Sensation test.
Shut your eyes and you won't notice.
565
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,636
Not on your nelly and not on mine either!
566
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,474
All right. We'll come back to it.
Let's see about your blood pressure.
567
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,516
I feel a little faint.
568
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,717
- I think I'll have a glass of brandy.
- In a minute.
569
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,758
You know, Lancelot,
your heart is as sound as a bell.
570
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,159
It is?
571
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,037
Yes.
572
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,076
Your lungs are as clean as a whistle.
573
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,037
They are?
574
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,473
And your blood pressure...
575
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,069
Absolutely normal.
576
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,038
So the whole thing must be psychosomatic
or emotional.
577
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,078
But, Simon,
I've never been called emotional before.
578
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,037
Perhaps you've never been in love before.
579
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,876
Get out of my house,
you miserable, bat-eared quack!
580
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,598
Well, that's my diagnosis.
581
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,993
Take it or leave it. And my prescription is...
582
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,958
a good dinner, a bottle of wine...
583
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,713
and press your suit on you know who.
584
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,117
Is it serious, Doctor?
585
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,909
Yes, it's serious, Mrs. Clapper.
But don't worry. It'll take its course.
586
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,956
Will he be going to bed?
587
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,951
That depends on the physiotherapist.
588
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,438
Stop! No, no! Don't stop! Aaah!
589
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,829
Tell me when I'm causing distress, Major.
590
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,876
Distress?! Distress?!
591
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,996
You're marvelous with that thing!
592
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,833
Actually, you're pretty marvelous altogether!
593
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:45,956
- Yes, Major.
- Oh, look here...
594
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,672
...drop the handle.
595
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,432
Tommy's the old moniker.
596
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,876
Or Tiger. They used to call me Tiger French
in Malaya.
597
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,359
Oh, really? And why was that?
598
00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:00,389
Well, out on my first jungle patrol,
I stalked a Chinese commie the whole day.
599
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,670
Got him in the end. Turned out to be a tiger!
600
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,638
Well, I mean,
you can't live a thing like that down, can you?
601
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,154
So when I was posted I decided to live up to it.
602
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,073
Fearless type, you know.
That's why I grew a beard.
603
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,433
Doesn't work, does it?
604
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,592
Oh, I don't know. I'm rather partial to beards.
605
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,473
Are you, now? I say, that is interesting.
606
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,795
But it would be much more interesting for...
607
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,031
for both of us
if I could get these old pins walking again.
608
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,680
Mm, yes, well, that's why we're here, isn't it?
609
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,513
Well, there's not much chance of that, I'm afraid.
610
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,598
Oh, though I'd be prepared
to stake a packet for this.
611
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,753
If anybody could do the trick, you could,
Marchant, old girl!
612
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,592
Iris is the moniker.
613
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,796
Ooh, Iris! Aaah! Iris!
614
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,918
Hang on to that, will you?
615
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,228
Don't run away.
616
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,834
Run away? That'll be the day!
617
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,876
Hello? Yes?
618
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,876
Oh, Sir Lancelot.
619
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:09,795
Oh... Well, I'm afraid my evenings
are rather booked up for some time.
620
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,836
Yes.
621
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,031
Well bless you.
It was a very sweet thought.
622
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:17,109
All right.
623
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,952
Bye-bye.
624
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,596
Ugh! Muck!
625
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,750
Ah, tea.
626
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,756
Hog swill.
627
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,276
- No sugar?
- Ugh!
628
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,828
Typical. The whole place is going to the dogs.
629
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,196
Mass incompetence and inefficiency
in every department.
630
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,590
- Including Physiotherapy?
- Especially Physiotherapy.
631
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,596
Aha.
632
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,992
So she said no, eh?
633
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,032
She turned me down, Simon,
as if I'd been a first-year student.
634
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,759
Well, perhaps you are in this particular field.
635
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,990
It takes practice to know how to handle ladies.
636
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,868
I've been in practice for years
and I've handled thousands of ladies.
637
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,474
You've handled ladies, surgically speaking.
638
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,632
You know all about their lights,
their lungs and their livers.
639
00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,109
But do you know anything at all
about their hearts?
640
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,758
No.
641
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,115
There you are. That's what I mean, you see.
642
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,156
Well, what do you suggest?
643
00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:19,674
Well... coax her.
644
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,752
Encourage her. Be kind, be gentle.
645
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,195
She knows you mainly as a surgeon.
646
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,068
Let her discover
that you're a man of many parts.
647
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,037
Show her my... butterfly collection?
648
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,553
No.
649
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,319
No, if possible, I think you should do something.
650
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,913
Do something you're good at.
651
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,479
Like fishing.
652
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,915
You can't take her out fishing after dinner.
653
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,592
Well, I could play the piano.
654
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,716
Random gems from The Student Prince?
655
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:52,237
I was thinking more of the 48 Preludes
and Fugues of Bach, which I play rather well.
656
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,356
I don't think she'd sit through 48, do you?
657
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,709
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
658
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:03,675
Look, aren't you... aren't you good at
some kind of... some kind of a game?
659
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,036
I think I've got the very thing.
660
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:17,196
Now, my dear...
661
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,716
you must be very careful not to cut the cloth.
It's very expensive.
662
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,553
And, er... don't wave your cue about.
663
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,958
Now, the thing to do is to strike the white ball
so that it knock s that red one in the pocket.
664
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:36,193
Like that?
665
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,236
Yes.
666
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,276
That's what we call a fluke.
667
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,990
Now... You now have to pot
one of the colored balls.
668
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,959
It doesn't really matter which,
but I think the blue is the prettiest.
669
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,996
Like your eyes.
670
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,911
Like that?
671
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,752
Have you played this game before?
672
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,673
Yes, I have.
673
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,716
But I'm terribly out of practice.
674
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,234
- This calls for brandy.
- Not for me.
675
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:07,753
But for me.
676
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:10,715
Your ball.
677
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,756
Thank you.
678
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,076
Try this, Sir Lancelot.
679
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,036
Thank you, my dear.
680
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,758
Tell me... Do you think you could be
a little less formal?
681
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,229
Oh, I see. Well, erm...
682
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,276
What would you like me to call you?
683
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,238
Just plain Lancelot or have you got
some sort of a nickname?
684
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,153
I have, but it hasn't been used
since I was at school.
685
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:43,878
May I share the secret?
686
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,269
Well, it's... Porker.
687
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,672
Yes, well, little boys can be very unkind.
688
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:52,994
And observant, too.
689
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,594
Yes, I see what you mean.
690
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,556
Melody in F
691
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,593
That's sentimental rubbish! I can't bear it!
692
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,035
Your unconscious
doesn't seem to agree with you.
693
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,314
Well, what do you expect?
694
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,119
That woman beats me at snooker
and then tells me I'm too fat.
695
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,794
- Well, you are too fat. Look at you.
- Fat I am not
696
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:57,158
- I am generously proportioned.
- You've got to lose weight to make progress.
697
00:40:57,240 --> 00:41:00,755
Who was it said the commonest instruments
of suicide are a knife and fork?
698
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,628
Very well. But I'm not going to nibble grapefruit
like an anemic rabbit.
699
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:08,508
I could easily arrange for you to lose
a few pounds. I know a bloke that runs a place.
700
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,556
Look, why don't you let me call him?
701
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,596
Wretched woman.
702
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,716
Oh, very well! Fix it!
703
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,758
Yes? Yes, well, Dr. Blacker should be back
any minute.
704
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,793
Oh look here he is now.
Er can you hang on a sec?
705
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,357
It's Dr. Sparrow.
706
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,197
Hello, Simon. What can I do for you?
707
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,708
Oh, Spratt the surgeon, eh?
708
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,758
Yes. But don't stand any nonsense from him.
709
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,912
I want you to give him the work s.
The full treatment.
710
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,276
Tomorrow? Splendid.
711
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,995
Yes, I'll look in after he's been with you
a few days. Good.
712
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,355
How's business? Pretty brisk?
713
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,396
Oh, mustn't grumble.
714
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,472
Got my hands pretty full as usual, you know.
715
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,278
Yeah, well, goodbye, now.
716
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,391
Anyone in charge of this dosshouse?
717
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:32,915
Ah.
718
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,639
My name is Spratt
and I've come to lose some of this.
719
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,911
- Oh, yes, Sir Lancelot. We were expecting you.
- I should hope so.
720
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,152
Kindly see that my baggage is brought in
and that the crate with the bottles is not shaken.
721
00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:45,639
Bottles?
722
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,472
Lafitte, '3.
723
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,551
And I don't want it ruined.
724
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,596
A superb year.
725
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,116
- How lucky you are.
- Dr. Blacker, this is Sir Lancelot Spratt.
726
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,838
- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do?
727
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,672
I run this little purgatory here.
728
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,832
h that case you will kindly see
that my wine is not disturbed.
729
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,354
- It won't be. Not even by you.
- What?!
730
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:09,594
Er, Miss Minton, see that Sir Lancelot's wine
is put in the strongroom, will you?
731
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,398
Perhaps, Sir Lancelot, you'd like me
732
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,755
- to show you round the place?
- Very well.
733
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,232
Spratt. That's the surgeon, isn't it?
734
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,151
Yes, it must be.
735
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:27,189
I shall enjoy talking to him.
I've been under the knife... many times.
736
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,033
Sorry you have to share a room
but we're very busy.
737
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,998
The lavage room is like Ascot on Gold Cup day.
738
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,638
- Indeed.
- Excuse me, sir.
739
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:38,474
Your companion is very delightful. Mr. Bradby.
Have you heard of him?
740
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,677
I did an oophorectomy on a Bradby
some time ago.
741
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,318
Well, perhaps he came on here.
742
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,437
Hardly likely.
He went straight to the London Acropolis.
743
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,830
Oh, poor chap. This Bradby's an author.
Very popular.
744
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,754
Ah, Nurse. Nurse Bossom
will see that you get settled in all right.
745
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,512
I shall be seeing you later.
746
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,919
This way, Sir Lancelot.
747
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,150
Though somewhat off the beaten track.
748
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:02,835
Mr. Bradby, this is Sir Lancelot Spratt,
your roommate.
749
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:04,876
Snap.
750
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:08,953
- A wireless. I don't think I'm going to like that.
- No, no, a tape recorder.
751
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,555
I dictate a certain amount for my book s,
you know.
752
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,119
I hope it won't disturb you.
753
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,952
I share your hope.
754
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,917
You just get into bed, Sir Lancelot.
755
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,151
And what good would that do me?
I can't take any exercise in bed.
756
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:22,992
Perhaps we could manage something.
757
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,549
I doubt it.
758
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,517
I mean, you could wiggle your toes.
759
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:32,515
If I wanted to lose weight from my feet, woman,
I could cut my toenails, damn it!
760
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,076
Now, after me, girls.
761
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:43,996
And... one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two...
762
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,674
I hope you'll like it here... Oh, excuse me.
763
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,113
That's right.
764
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,555
We try to make everything friendly.
765
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,835
Good afternoon, Miss Steele.
766
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,878
What have you lost since yesterday?
767
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,076
Very friendly girl.
768
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,913
That's right. Keep it swinging.
769
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,549
One-two one-two.
770
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,198
Please sit down.
771
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,840
- What's your age, Sir Lancelot?
- No comment.
772
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,276
Over 50. Now, why do you want to lose weight?
773
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,716
Why? Because I propose to ride a Derby winner.
774
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,917
You're not being very cooperative.
I'm only trying to help.
775
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,232
You'd help a great deal more if you were
to cut out all this guff and give me my luncheon.
776
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,312
Oh, we've got a lot of ground to cover
before your luncheon.
777
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:31,029
It really is a pleasure to meet you
Sir Lancelot.
778
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,669
I wonder if you know my surgeon, Mr. Lucas.
779
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,228
I do indeed. An incompetent.
780
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:45,072
Well, as I was saying, one day -
it was in last June, to be precise... the 13th -
781
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,869
I was seized with a great attack
of pain and vomiting.
782
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,916
So I called my doctor at once.
783
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,514
Hey somebody! Let me out of here!
784
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,552
Ah, Sir Lancelot. You wanted something?
785
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,474
Yes, let me out of here.
I'm either being boiled alive or bored to death!
786
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,516
Your time's not up yet, I'm afraid.
787
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,637
Another 20 minutes. Just relax.
788
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,597
Enjoy yourself.
789
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,352
And 36...
790
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,396
and 37...
791
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,436
and 38...
792
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,476
and 39...
793
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,516
and 40...
794
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:26,036
- and 41...
- What are you going on for? I stop at 40.
795
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,634
We're stepping you up a bit.
Doctor's instructions.
796
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,950
- Not for me.
- Now, now sir.
797
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,031
We want to get our waistline down, don't we?
798
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,839
Perhaps if we don't,
there's someone who'd like us to.
799
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,469
Tell me... What did you do
before you got into this racket?
800
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,152
Run a torture chamber somewhere?
801
00:46:41,240 --> 00:46:44,630
Me, sir? No, sir. Army, sir. Judo instructor.
Black belt.
802
00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:47,473
Ah. Judo. I must remember that.
803
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,516
Now, sir. No slacking. Put your back into it.
804
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,795
And 45... and 46...
805
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,791
and... Now, steady, sir.
806
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,836
Doctor's orders. Oi!
807
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,551
A Japanese patient once paid me in kind.
808
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,710
Good afternoon to you.
809
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,756
Cor blimey!
810
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:10,517
The first course was a lobster bisque,
served hot...
811
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,672
with a dish of local whipped cream on the side.
812
00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:15,948
Am I disturbing you?
813
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,793
Indeed, no. I am most interested.
814
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:23,351
This was followed by a plain roast saddle
of English lamb,
815
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:27,831
cooked with rosemary for not too long
in a charcoal oven.
816
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,155
Excellent. Just the way I like it myself.
817
00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:34,676
It's a place I've recommended
in every issue of my book.
818
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,230
- Did you enjoy it, sir?
- No, kindly bring the next course.
819
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,356
Sorry, sir, but there isn't a next course.
820
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,913
The cellar in this hotel
is remarkably well stocked.
821
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,151
I like particularly the anger of Niersteiner,
822
00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:55,711
and chose a very cooling 1959
at a moderate price.
823
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,678
- One of you gentlemen rang?
- I want a drink. Bring me the list.
824
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,591
List, sir? We haven't one.
825
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,148
Would you like barley water,
soda water or water?
826
00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:05,468
Get out!
827
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,112
Am I disturbing you?
828
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,555
- I am going for a walk.
- A walk?
829
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:43,915
Got you!
830
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:45,069
Got who?
831
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,116
Who are you looking at?
832
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:51,352
- I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else.
- Well, you've made a mistake, haven't you?
833
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,155
Er, y-yes, I have.
834
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,876
Caught you, red-handed.
835
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,593
I thought it was you.
836
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,513
- I'm not speaking to you.
- Naughty, naughty, Sir Lancelot.
837
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,318
That's no way to talk to you doctor.
838
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,038
- Did you hear that?
- What?
839
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,430
Sir Lancelot. He reckons
he's one of them Knights of the Round Table.
840
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,034
No, he's one of them nutters that's got loose,
isn't he?
841
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,396
Yeah. Come on.
They can turn dead vicious, you know.
842
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,476
Come on!
843
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,954
Surely she's worth a little self-discipline,
a bit of discomfort.
844
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,508
I'm sure the clinic's treating you very well.
845
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,556
They're treating me like a convict.
846
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:45,232
They've taken my clothes away.
847
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:49,472
I had to bribe the gardener to get a mackintosh
and cap or I wouldn't have slipped out at all.
848
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:53,109
You shouldn't have slipped out at all.
What's the point of a diet if you cheat?
849
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:56,397
Come off it, Simon. I only came in here
for a cup of lemon tea.
850
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,391
Yeah. Well that shouldn't hurt you.
851
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,119
Now buzz off and leave me alone.
852
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:08,795
Treble baked beans, treble fried bread,
treble egg and treble chips. Anything else?
853
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:12,031
How about treble spotted dick, just for afters?
854
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,669
Comes from a starvation hole, does he?
We get a lot of them in here.
855
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,672
Well, he's a big fella.
What's the matter with a big blowout?
856
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,557
If he gets through that, he'll blow up.
857
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,999
Goodbye, Mrs. Parry.
You shouldn't have any more trouble
858
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,150
providing you stick to that diet sheet.
859
00:50:30,240 --> 00:50:34,313
Don't you worry yourself, Doctor.
I'm going to read it when I've got time.
860
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,316
We try.
861
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,356
Well... so long, Mrs. Brown.
862
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,112
- Goodbye.
- Keep smiling, now.
863
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:45,957
- Hello, Stuart.
- Good morning, sir.
864
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,270
Here's the path report on Mrs. Whittaker.
865
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,836
We shall have to operate, shan't we?
866
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,111
Yes.
867
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,679
She was expecting to go home.
868
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,516
Break it to her gently, will you?
869
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,398
- Me?
- You're responsible for her, aren't you?
870
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,916
I've never had to tell anyone.
871
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,672
That's part of the job.
872
00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:14,631
Telling people unpleasant truths.
873
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:16,676
Easy does it.
874
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,712
That's it.
875
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,756
- Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson.
- Goodbye.
876
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,796
Glad to see you running about again.
877
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:34,079
Oh, hello, Mrs. Whittaker!
I thought you were flitting today, same as me.
878
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,435
I was, but they want me to have an operation.
879
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,159
Do they, now? Oh, you'll love it!
880
00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:41,879
I did. It's even better than on the telly!
881
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:43,632
- Now, good luck.
- Thank you.
882
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,353
Now, Mrs. Parry, time you were off.
Are you ready?
883
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,115
Yes, I'm ready now, Sister.
I think I've said goodbye to everyone.
884
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,760
Ooh, I was forgetting Mrs. Roberts!
885
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,796
Fancy forgetting you!
886
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,836
It is Mrs. Roberts, isn't it?
887
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,275
I thought so. Goodbye, then.
888
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,316
You're looking better.
889
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,113
Goodbye, all! Take care of yourselves!
890
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,678
Now, here's a model
you might find attractive, sir.
891
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,716
A Waterloo Wasper.
892
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,756
Eugh!
893
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,150
No, no, no... I see what you mean, sir.
I see what you mean.
894
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:33,432
Now, I wonder if this one might appeal
to you, sir. This one is the Harrogate Hourglass.
895
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:36,673
No.
896
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,036
No, you're absolutely right, sir, of course.
It's not you.
897
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,475
Er... Ah, now, what about this one?
898
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,159
What the devil do you call that?
899
00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:48,994
Well, you've guessed it, sir. Diablo.
Now, isn't it heaven?
900
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,036
- Is it hell!
- Try it on, sir.
901
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,076
Just for size.
902
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,116
There we are.
903
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,760
That's it. Comfy?
904
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:03,277
Oh, dreamy! Dreamy, Sir Lancelot!
With that you're definitely with it.
905
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,511
- What do you mean I'm "with it"?
- You're not with it without it.
906
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,072
Spratt.
907
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,350
Oh, good morning, Iris, dear. How are you?
908
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:17,953
Was the conference interesting?
909
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,600
You can't expect it to have been
an exciting procedure.
910
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,636
- Thanks.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
911
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:33,272
Erm... Yes, Lancelot, I got your note but
I'm afraid I won't be able to make Wednesday.
912
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,636
No, not Thursday either, I'm afraid.
913
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:41,673
Well, you see, my London practice
is getting very busy now.
914
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,716
Yes.
915
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,155
Well, thank you for thinking of me, anyway.
916
00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:50,472
All right. Look, Lancelot, I've got to go.
I've got a patient waiting for me.
917
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,232
All right. Bye.
918
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,278
- Hello.
- Hello, Tommy. Sorry to have kept you waiting.
919
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:56,759
That's all right.
920
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:01,391
- How are we feeling today? Better?
- Oh, today, tomorrow, this week, next week...
921
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:05,359
- I shall always feel the same way about you.
- Oh, don't start all that again.
922
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,273
I can't help it, old girl. You've knocked me for six.
923
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,511
Oh, I thought I was just getting you
up on your feet again.
924
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,912
Not much chance of that, I'm afraid.
But I'll tell you this, if I were back on my feet,
925
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,436
that fellow who keeps ringing you
wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance.
926
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,034
Oh. Eavesdropping, eh?
927
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,839
Well, why not? All's fair, etc.
928
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,356
Oh, listen, Iris.
929
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,237
You could do worse, you know.
930
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:34,598
I mean, there's the old gratuity. And a nice
property with a few acres of rough pasture
931
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,989
and a couple of chestnuts for you to exercise.
932
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:38,957
Oh, I can see it all.
933
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:44,194
You, whooshing up the drive in the old Aston
Martin after a hard day in the hospital, hm?
934
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,590
- What would you be doing?
- Sitting on the terrace with the odd noggin.
935
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:52,117
The old double-barreled over my knee -
waiting to take a pot at a stray wood pigeon.
936
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,038
Honestly, Tommy!
You're a hopeless case!
937
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,076
Yes, I know.
938
00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,912
Oh, no, I didn't mean that.
939
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,754
No, nor did I. Just a hopeless case of love, hm?
940
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,076
Tommy...
941
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,116
Yes?
942
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,516
Now, we've got to stop this.
943
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:16,314
You must concentrate on your treatment.
944
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,836
I haven't got much choice, have I?
945
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,712
What are you gawping at?
946
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,716
Well, it's fantastic.
947
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:55,031
I've never seen such wonderful results...
from dieting.
948
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:58,237
Not everybody has the discipline or self-control,
you know.
949
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,276
That's true.
950
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,834
Now that you've started, you must keep it up.
951
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,194
What do you think I'm doing?
952
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,910
I mean, it'd be a pity, wouldn't it?
A terrible pity if you had a sort of sudden...
953
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:12,915
...relapse.
954
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,670
Er, before Iris sees you.
955
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,716
I don't understand the woman.
956
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,155
She's turned down two invitations to dinner...
957
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:27,193
...and muttered something about
having to go to London to look after her patients.
958
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:31,114
- What, at night?
- So she says. What's the matter with her?
959
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,953
Well, she could be being discreet.
960
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:37,918
Oh, you mean she's got a man up there?
A lover?
961
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,319
No, I didn't say that.
962
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:41,709
It's impossible! Good God - she's got me!
963
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,631
Not quite, I gather.
964
00:56:43,720 --> 00:56:45,312
You're quite right, Simon.
965
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,510
- I shall have to do something.
- Get cracking.
966
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,073
What's that? Indigestion?
967
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,754
No, it's only a twinge from my old rupture.
968
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,796
I think I'd better have a look at you.
969
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:58,791
- Take off your coat.
- No, it's all right.
970
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,314
This is very serious.
These old lesions can blow up.
971
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,233
Simon, I can promise you it's all right.
972
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:08,154
Now, it's very kind of you to come.
Thank you very much indeed. I'm most grateful.
973
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:09,958
You're quite sure? I shall leave you.
974
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:13,589
All right, well, you know where to get me
if you need me. I mean...
975
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,432
should something explode.
976
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,355
Hampden Cross? Do you happen to know
the name of a detective agency?
977
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,472
You don't.
Well, give me directory enquiries, please.
978
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,511
A man.
979
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:40,036
Excuse me, sir,
but what would you like for lunch?
980
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,076
- A man.
- Yes, sir.
981
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,116
I'll have his head on a platter.
982
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,351
Very good, sir.
And I'll do a little braised celery to...
983
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,356
What did you say, sir?
984
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,396
I said...
985
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,316
Melody in F
986
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,589
Put your weapon away, Sir Lancelot.
987
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,315
I want a full report on where the lady goes,
988
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:16,550
what she does
and whom she meets, understand?
989
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,517
You can rely on us, Sir Lancelot.
990
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,830
And I don't want anybody else to know about it.
991
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,195
We're the soul of discretion, sir. Ooh...
992
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,795
Do... do you mind if I sit down a moment, sir?
993
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,359
What's the matter, man?
994
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:30,396
Have you got an inflamed appendix?
995
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,199
If you do a good job,
I'll whip it out for you at a discount.
996
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,670
It's nothing, sir. Just a little indigestion.
Comes and goes.
997
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:39,399
Rather like the lady in question, I gather!
998
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:43,519
You'll be gathering a fractured coccyx
if you don't mind your manners.
999
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:45,556
Oh.
1000
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,715
What's up, guv? Come and sit down over here.
1001
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:40,269
- What's that?
- The emergency appendix, sir. Simon's doing it.
1002
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,316
Hm.
1003
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,834
I think I may as well wander along to the theatre.
1004
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,836
Take my mind off things.
1005
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:54,152
Morning, Mr. Holly.
Now, you've nothing to worry about.
1006
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,196
You won't feel a thing.
1007
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,430
- Just you relax.
- Thank you Doctor.
1008
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,550
- Hello.
- I've just come to watch.
1009
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:07,790
It's a long time since I saw you operate.
1010
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,792
- That is if you don't mind.
- I don't mind in the very least.
1011
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:12,950
- All ready, Dr. Sparrow.
- Thank you, Sister.
1012
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:16,874
- As long as you don't give me any free advice.
- I'm not likely to do that, am I?
1013
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:24,718
Good morning, everybody.
Don't take any notice of me. I won't interfere.
1014
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:26,552
All right, George?
- OK.
1015
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,596
All right, Sister.
1016
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,155
What are you doing? What's that?
1017
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:35,719
That's my primary incision.
1018
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,951
You don't call that little scratch an incision,
do you?
1019
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,076
Cut man! Cut like I taught you!
1020
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,435
Use your shoulders.
You're not opening an oyster!
1021
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,239
I wish you'd shut up and keep your pearls
for someone else.
1022
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,276
Sorry, Simon.
1023
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,238
I'm only trying to be helpful.
I shan't interrupt any more.
1024
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:53,276
Retractor, Sister.
1025
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,430
You don't call that a retractor, do you?
1026
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,751
That is the retractor Dr. Sparrow always uses,
Sir Lancelot.
1027
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:00,990
Nonsense. Give him a big one.
1028
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,469
He wants to collar the colon,
not eat a Frankfurter.
1029
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,233
Keep your gastronomic conversations
to yourself.
1030
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:09,995
- I can only say it's not the way I should do it.
- Well, it's not your case!
1031
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:13,629
Very well.
If that's your attitude to your old teacher...
1032
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:15,517
I shan't say any more.
1033
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,632
Bad sign. Can't stand friendly criticism.
1034
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,116
It's a nasty one.
1035
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:31,396
That's better out than in.
1036
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:34,789
All right, George...
1037
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:36,836
- Stat opening up now.
- Right-o.
1038
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:43,636
Hey! What do you think you're doing?
1039
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,199
You ought to be on the job.
1040
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,989
Wake up! What do you think
I'm spending good money on you for?
1041
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:50,354
Wake up!
1042
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:52,749
Hey, mind my stitches!
1043
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:58,192
The train standing
on platform five is the fast train for London.
1044
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,876
Thank you, madam.
1045
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:21,912
Do you mind?
1046
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:24,916
So sorry, madam.
1047
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,076
Disgusting.
1048
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:52,713
Are you drunk or something?
1049
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,119
Most certainly not.
1050
01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:56,760
What's the idea, then? You afraid of sunstroke?
1051
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,239
I'm sorry.
1052
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,788
You'll have to pay for all these things.
1053
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:02,393
Oh, very well.
1054
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:30,479
Lancelot!
1055
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:37,514
'Ere... 'Ere, do you know that geezer?
1056
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:38,794
Yes, I do.
1057
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,553
- Well, he shouldn't be allowed out.
- Is he a nutcase?
1058
01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:43,596
No, he's a friend of mine.
1059
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,432
Some people do 'ave 'em!
1060
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,273
Before he does any more damage,
you better get him to a doctor.
1061
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:49,634
I am a doctor.
1062
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:26,151
Don't you know it's unlucky
to open an umbrella indoors?
1063
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:27,468
Not for me, madam.
1064
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:29,915
You might have taken my eye out.
1065
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:36,559
Madam, in my time, I have taken
practically everyone's everything out.
1066
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,116
Don't! Stop it! Don't!
1067
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:46,516
I shall scream! I'm warning you. Oh!
1068
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:53,199
The man must be a lunatic.
1069
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:55,111
Must be a raving lunatic.
1070
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:14,749
No.
1071
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:22,270
No! No, don't shut the door. You can't come in.
1072
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,040
- Can't I?
- No. You see...
1073
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,076
all these seats are taken.
1074
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,116
Yes, they're all taken.
1075
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,116
Oh, I see. I do beg your pardon.
1076
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,873
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. I beg your pardon.
1077
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:38,758
Actually, there is room for me just there
if I squeezed in
1078
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:40,637
between you and the lady with the red hat.
1079
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,472
Would you mind, madam?
1080
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:44,869
I'll just put my coat up on the rack. Excuse me.
1081
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,952
Thank you. Don't move. Just a bit.
Thank you. That's fine.
1082
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,956
Let me out!
1083
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:05,355
It's all right. Perfectly all right.
I'm a doctor and you fainted.
1084
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,396
Oh... well...
1085
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,199
Thank you, Doctor. You're... You're very kind.
1086
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:14,516
- Feeling better now?
- Oh, yes. Thanks to you.
1087
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:20,111
I do apologize for making such an exhibition.
Whatever must you have thought of me?
1088
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,351
But, you see,
I have had the most terrifying experience.
1089
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:25,396
Would you like to tell me about it?
1090
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,552
You see, there was this dreadful man
in my compartment.
1091
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:32,030
Oh, it was awful. I think, as long as I live,
1092
01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:35,590
I shall never forget the sight
of his dark glasses and...
1093
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,636
- Dark glasses?
- Yes.
1094
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:40,075
- And an umbrella?
- Yes.
1095
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:44,711
You see, Doctor, I'm sure that he's...
1096
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:47,953
...a maniac.
1097
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:12,236
Taxi!
1098
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:22,913
Follow that cab.
1099
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:27,109
- Blimey! Going in disguise?
- Don't be impertinent!
1100
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,156
All right, all right, all right!
1101
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:39,756
You're quite safe. He's gone.
1102
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:41,796
Oh. But, Doctor...
1103
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:45,759
- Please, do try and be calm, will you?
- I can't. I can't.
1104
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:47,717
Now, look, you've got your knitting back.
1105
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:50,678
Count your stitches. It's very soothing.
Good day.
1106
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,353
Oh, tell Mr. Heilbronn
he won't regret the decision.
1107
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:19,356
Yes, of course I can be ready.
1108
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:21,396
Champagne in the icebox.
1109
01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:23,436
Sorry, er... What did you say?
1110
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:26,437
So sorry, I didn't quite get that.
1111
01:09:27,480 --> 01:09:29,436
What sort of clothes will I need?
1112
01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:32,233
Nothing at all.
1113
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,236
Oh, I see. When I get there.
1114
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,070
Oh, yes. I'm terribly excited, tell him.
1115
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:42,156
Midnight? Tonight?
1116
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:45,556
Oh, yes, of course I'll be there.
1117
01:09:47,040 --> 01:09:48,996
Thank you. Goodbye.
1118
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:51,992
Oh, Simon, darling!
1119
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:57,239
- You're late.
- I very nearly didn't get here at all.
1120
01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:00,471
I had a terrible journey, a terrible day
and I'm in a terrible mood.
1121
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,438
Well, I've had a fabulous day
and I'm in a fabulous mood.
1122
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:05,909
Well, bully for you. What's so fabulous about it?
1123
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,194
Charming!
1124
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:08,679
Oh, well.
1125
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:11,676
Oh, Simon, don't look so miserable.
1126
01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:13,830
Well, I am miserable.
1127
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:16,878
Well, you just stay with it, then,
because I am going to pack.
1128
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:18,916
Pack?
1129
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,956
Where are you going?
1130
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:25,113
I go, my lord, to the Eternal City.
1131
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:26,872
You have to be kidding, of course.
1132
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:30,236
No. I leave on the midnight plane for Rome.
1133
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:33,278
Arrivederci, Roma...
1134
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:35,316
- Delia...
- Si, caro?
1135
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,949
Rome only means one thing to me:
The Sorrows Of Salome.
1136
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:40,996
Hm, does it?
1137
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:45,312
Yes, it does. Have you been having
another bash at that midget movie magnate?
1138
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,595
Supposing I had. Would you mind?
1139
01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:49,636
Yes, I would. Very much indeed.
1140
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:52,598
- Anyway, I'd say you needed your head testing.
- Why?
1141
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:55,353
He only wants you as a personal handmaiden.
I know the type.
1142
01:10:55,440 --> 01:10:59,149
Simon, don't be so disgusting.
Anyway, it's got nothing to do with Mr. Heilbronn.
1143
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,391
I am a model. It's just like being a doctor:
I'm always on call.
1144
01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:04,198
That's what worries me.
1145
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:06,593
How long will you be away for?
1146
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:10,639
Oh, that depends on how many shows
we have to do with the new collection.
1147
01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:14,315
Oh, do stop looking so Neolithic
and get my suitcase for me.
1148
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:17,316
Oh, Delia...
1149
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:19,436
I didn't come here to help you to pack.
1150
01:11:20,480 --> 01:11:25,508
Well, if you help me to pack, darling, there'll be
lots of time for what you really came for.
1151
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:27,079
It's all in the oven.
1152
01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:07,272
Waiting for somebody, sir?
1153
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,397
No, Officer. Just taking the air.
1154
01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:14,550
Ought to have brought an umbrella, sir.
1155
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:29,951
Well, hello, Porker.
1156
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:34,709
- Good gracious, it's you!
- Yes, yes. Quite a coincidence.
1157
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:36,870
- Are you looking for somebody?
- Yes.
1158
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:39,918
Oh. Well, you're making it
rather difficult for yourself.
1159
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,672
What?
1160
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,910
Oh, you mean these. Just a touch of pink eye.
1161
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,558
Oh, I'm sorry.
1162
01:12:45,640 --> 01:12:48,518
- It's much better.
- Good.
1163
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:51,074
You're wearing your...
1164
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:55,119
Yes, yes, I'm treating somebody.
What are you doing?
1165
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:58,078
Oh, I'm just paying a call on an old friend.
1166
01:12:58,160 --> 01:13:00,116
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
1167
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,919
- Which flat?
- Er... that one.
1168
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:05,279
Oh.
1169
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:07,555
Well, you'd better ring the bell, hadn't you?
1170
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:10,556
Yes, I suppose I had.
1171
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:14,636
Unless you've got a key.
1172
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,592
Don't be so absurd. It's not that kind of friend.
1173
01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:31,075
No, no, no! Get away!
1174
01:13:32,440 --> 01:13:35,796
It's beasts like you who disgrace British railways!
1175
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:42,274
- I ought to be getting ready.
- Oh, shut up.
1176
01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:44,316
Oh...
1177
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:51,038
This is the Camberwell sewage disposal unit.
Can I help you?
1178
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,793
Yes, this is Victoria 2191.
1179
01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:59,559
- What on earth's the matter?
- What did you say?
1180
01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:01,596
- Who is it?
- Be quiet.
1181
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:03,750
Yes, I certainly did get that message.
1182
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:05,432
- Tell me...
- Will you be quiet?
1183
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:07,033
And the same to you!
1184
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:11,789
- Who was it?
- So you are going to Rome to model dresses.
1185
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,836
Well, yes, you know I am.
1186
01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:16,514
And you've never set eyes on Mr. Heilbronn.
1187
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:19,068
- Was that him?
- No, it wasn't Mr. Heilbronn.
1188
01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:22,789
But it was one of his blue alpaca-suited,
frilly-shirted minions,
1189
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:26,634
rounding up the harem with a car for the airport
and and they want you.
1190
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:28,676
Can you explain that?
1191
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,716
For one dreadful moment...
1192
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:32,756
I thought it had all fallen through.
1193
01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:37,357
- What?
- Well, me. He still wants me.
1194
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:39,396
Yeah, for the movies.
1195
01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:41,675
Look, I know you think I haven't got any talent.
1196
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:44,320
You're very good at some things,
but as an actress...
1197
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:47,153
- You're jealous.
- Jealous?! Me, jealous?
1198
01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,834
- Of that fat, paunchy, short-arsed...
- And spiteful.
1199
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:51,876
Spiteful. Ha!
1200
01:14:51,960 --> 01:14:55,509
Spiteful! I'm just boggling
at the sheer gullibility of it all!
1201
01:14:56,560 --> 01:14:59,233
Do you really think you're going to get a part
in this epic?
1202
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,151
You're going to be one of thousands.
1203
01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,196
I shall be one in a thousand.
1204
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:05,555
Mr. Heilbronn says I might be a discovery.
1205
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:08,598
He says he's going to take me
and mould me and make me.
1206
01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:11,638
That he will certainly try to do.
1207
01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,109
Mr. Heilbronn is a genius!
1208
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,633
Listen, listen. I only want to protect you.
1209
01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:23,439
- I don't need protecting!
- You do need protecting.
1210
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,478
Oh... Go and pack your little black bag.
1211
01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:28,516
You come with me.
1212
01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:38,998
You want to get something for that
or you'll be under the doctor!
1213
01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:40,877
I...
1214
01:15:47,480 --> 01:15:49,436
Look where you're going, man!
1215
01:15:50,480 --> 01:15:52,436
- You're drunk.
- Hey, Rosie...
1216
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:55,159
Would you like me to grow
a nice bit of fungus like that?
1217
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:57,196
Oh, I don't know.
1218
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,433
Get out of my way!
You're a disgrace to the Empire!
1219
01:16:03,640 --> 01:16:05,596
Oh, come on, love.
1220
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:15,278
The train standing on
platform two is the 1117 for Hampden Cross
1221
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:20,354
But I've already explained, madam.
I want a triple rum and aniseed.
1222
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:22,874
Purely for medicinal purposes. I repeat...
1223
01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:25,997
You can repeat all night if you want,
but we're closed.
1224
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:28,469
But I need it! Rum! R-U-M!
1225
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,869
S- H-U-T! Shut!
1226
01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:42,714
Oh, you can't, Rosie. Not till the train starts.
1227
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:44,756
Oh, but I must.
1228
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:56,149
- Simon.
- Hello.
1229
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:59,755
I say, I suppose you haven't got an aspirin,
or better still, a hip flask?
1230
01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:01,671
No, I'm sorry. I'm off duty too.
1231
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:04,312
Did you have a good day?
1232
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:05,753
Splendid.
1233
01:17:05,840 --> 01:17:09,753
I've had nothing to eat, nothing to drink,
I've been pestered by lunatic females,
1234
01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:12,798
moronic railway employees and drunken sailors.
1235
01:17:12,880 --> 01:17:16,839
I got soaked to the skin,
and I've broken my umbrella.
1236
01:17:16,920 --> 01:17:19,514
And I made a fool of myself
in front of the woman I love.
1237
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:21,635
You met your rival.
1238
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,154
There isn't one. She's perfectly innocent.
1239
01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:26,435
Serves me right for giving way to jealousy.
1240
01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:28,556
The sort of mistake you wouldn't have made.
1241
01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:31,791
No, that would be... absolutely fatal.
1242
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:33,871
What do I do next?
1243
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:37,111
Well, you have rather shown your hand,
haven't you?
1244
01:17:38,400 --> 01:17:40,789
I think you'll just have to pop the question.
1245
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,996
You mean a formal proposal.
1246
01:17:43,080 --> 01:17:45,719
I can't see what else you can do.
1247
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,470
- You!
- Well, if it isn't the beefer.
1248
01:17:49,560 --> 01:17:51,994
- How are you going, sport?
- You can't come in here.
1249
01:17:52,080 --> 01:17:53,832
What is this? First class, then?
1250
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:55,672
Indeed it is.
1251
01:17:55,760 --> 01:17:58,911
- Is that a bottle of rum?
- Indeed it is. Would you like a slug?
1252
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:01,230
- First class.
- Help yourself, sport.
1253
01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:04,236
Help yourselves.
1254
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,799
No, thank you very much.
1255
01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:15,030
Er... You were saying, Simon.
1256
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:17,076
Mm? Oh, yes...
1257
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:21,950
Well, now that you've tried the creeping barrage,
I think you'd better try the frontal attack.
1258
01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:25,110
Hey, Rosie. Do you love me?
1259
01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:26,349
I don't know.
1260
01:18:26,440 --> 01:18:28,112
You mean straight out of the blue?
1261
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:30,350
No, we must always exercise a little finesse.
1262
01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:32,396
Well... Do you like me?
1263
01:18:32,480 --> 01:18:34,038
I don't know.
1264
01:18:34,120 --> 01:18:36,680
And timing. Timing's very important.
1265
01:18:36,760 --> 01:18:39,911
Yes, I recognize that. But what do I actually say?
1266
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,638
Do you like anyone else, then?
1267
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:42,994
I don't know.
1268
01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:46,231
You can't sort of put a girl in a corner
and boldly come out with it.
1269
01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:48,276
Hell, Rosie! Will you marry me?
1270
01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:51,352
- I don't mind!
- You little beauty!
1271
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,516
I have asked you here, my love,
1272
01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:01,751
in order to tell you that, for some time past...
1273
01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:04,916
Well...
1274
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:07,639
Every look I have... cherished...
1275
01:19:08,680 --> 01:19:10,636
Mm, cherished.
1276
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,996
Your every gesture
I have interpreted with hope...
1277
01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:18,828
...and your every move I've had carefully
watched. No, blast it. I don't mean that.
1278
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:21,309
I have asked you here.
1279
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:24,316
Yes, Lancelot?
1280
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,356
Why have you asked me here?
1281
01:19:28,240 --> 01:19:30,959
- I have asked you here...
- Yes?
1282
01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:35,750
I have asked you here because it is the only
damn place I can get any privacy in this hospital!
1283
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:37,796
You were saying?
1284
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:42,233
I have to perform a very tricky operation, ma'am.
1285
01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:44,679
A heart operation.
1286
01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:46,557
Iris...
1287
01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:51,111
I am no longer, by the world's standards,
a young man.
1288
01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:56,308
The er... prime of life
might be a better description.
1289
01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,716
Er...
1290
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:04,036
You could, of course, do over the bedroom
to your own taste,
1291
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:06,475
and invite your mother to stay once a year.
1292
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:08,596
That is, indeed, if you have one.
1293
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,432
Lancelot...
1294
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,033
Are you proposing to me?
1295
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:15,271
Well, I'm not lecturing to
the Royal College of Surgeons!
1296
01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:17,316
But, erm...
1297
01:20:17,400 --> 01:20:19,391
Do you love me, Porker?
1298
01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:23,552
Passionately.
1299
01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:25,596
I love you deeply and sincerely.
1300
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:28,592
And have the honor of asking you
to become my wife.
1301
01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:30,636
Well...
1302
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:32,756
It's quite a compliment.
1303
01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:34,558
You accept, of course?
1304
01:20:34,640 --> 01:20:38,076
Oh, I appreciate it, but it's a big step.
1305
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:39,752
You must give me time.
1306
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:42,229
Damn it, woman! It's marriage I'm offering you!
1307
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:46,233
You can't ask for time like somebody
who owes the landlord for last quarter's rent.
1308
01:20:48,080 --> 01:20:49,832
Aren't you fond of me?
1309
01:20:49,920 --> 01:20:52,150
Oh, I am, I am!
1310
01:20:53,440 --> 01:20:56,477
I'll give you my answer when I'm more sure of it.
1311
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:07,195
Iris! Help! I'm stuck!
1312
01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:08,952
Oh!
1313
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:18,112
Oh, no, it's no good. You're too heavy for me.
I'll get help.
1314
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:22,394
Oooh! Ow! Oooh!
1315
01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:24,869
Should I get a male nurse or a plumber?
1316
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:28,077
Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
1317
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,230
- Pig!
- Sonja!
1318
01:21:40,320 --> 01:21:42,993
And you do not come here again!
You make me to be sick!
1319
01:21:48,920 --> 01:21:52,549
Get out of here, you lousy...
1320
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:53,959
rude pig!
1321
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:58,115
Get out!
1322
01:22:04,040 --> 01:22:05,155
Oh, you...!
1323
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:07,912
Ow!
1324
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:10,309
Oh! I'm sorry!
1325
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,913
I hit the wrong gentleman.
1326
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:18,356
Don't mention it.
1327
01:22:20,080 --> 01:22:21,638
It's an easy thing to do.
1328
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,792
Thank you.
1329
01:22:25,840 --> 01:22:27,432
Er, excuse me.
1330
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:29,476
- Have you come to see me?
- No.
1331
01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:33,235
I just came to collect some things
that I'd left here.
1332
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:35,675
I didn't know that Delia - Miss Mallory - had...
1333
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:37,716
Oh, yes, I have let her flat.
1334
01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:39,756
Come in.
1335
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:42,956
Come in, please.
1336
01:22:44,480 --> 01:22:47,597
- You know Miss Mallory very much?
- Well, no.
1337
01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:50,831
She used to give me the odd shakedown
when I was in London on business.
1338
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,876
Shakedown?
1339
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:56,953
Oh, yes. You shake yourself down often?
1340
01:22:58,040 --> 01:23:00,918
- Not by myself.
- That's good.
1341
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,956
That man...
1342
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:05,474
all build-up, no shakedown.
1343
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:07,516
Oh.
1344
01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:09,272
Do you want some nuts?
1345
01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:10,759
Nuts? No, thank you. No.
1346
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:12,876
You should. Healthy.
1347
01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:14,313
Sit.
1348
01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:16,349
Thank you.
1349
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:22,719
- Oh, you are bruised!
- No, no. I am sure it's very...
1350
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:25,439
- I will treat to it.
- You what?
1351
01:23:25,520 --> 01:23:26,873
I will treat to it.
1352
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,791
There's no necessity, I promise you.
1353
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:32,350
But I am a masseuse, you know.
Take off the garments and I will massage you.
1354
01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:35,159
If you don't mind,
I'd rather keep them where they are.
1355
01:23:35,240 --> 01:23:36,878
I am strong. Feel.
1356
01:23:39,680 --> 01:23:41,238
It's wonderful.
1357
01:23:42,280 --> 01:23:44,236
And this.
1358
01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:48,156
Terrific.
1359
01:23:50,160 --> 01:23:52,116
Could I have a glass of water, please?
1360
01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:54,760
Yes. Water is purging.
1361
01:23:54,840 --> 01:23:56,193
I'll fetch it.
1362
01:24:04,440 --> 01:24:06,396
I left some things here.
1363
01:24:06,480 --> 01:24:08,436
Funny, so did I.
1364
01:24:15,560 --> 01:24:17,516
Er... Can I give you a hand?
1365
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:20,273
Oh, thank you very much.
It's very kind of you.
1366
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:24,116
- There we are.
- Thank you.
1367
01:24:25,960 --> 01:24:29,032
- Is that heavy?
- Just a bit.
1368
01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:56,836
Some men, I don't think...
1369
01:24:56,920 --> 01:24:58,876
Do you think?
1370
01:24:58,960 --> 01:25:01,713
- I think you're some woman.
- I am liking you, too.
1371
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:05,395
You are skinny but have the lovable, no?
1372
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:08,352
Well, erm...
1373
01:25:08,440 --> 01:25:11,830
- You do not think I have the lovable?
- Oh, yes, you have the lovable.
1374
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:13,353
And you're not skinny, either.
1375
01:25:13,440 --> 01:25:15,715
- And now I massage your bruise.
- My what?
1376
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:18,155
Your bruise. You take off the trouserings.
1377
01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:22,313
The trouserings are perfectly all right
where they are, thank you very much.
1378
01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:26,109
So English! But where I come from,
we all take off the trouserings.
1379
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:27,758
Right. You start.
1380
01:25:27,840 --> 01:25:29,796
Yes.
1381
01:25:41,360 --> 01:25:44,432
- Good evening, Sister.
- Oh, good evening, Dr. Sparrow.
1382
01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:46,033
She's pulling round.
1383
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:48,509
- Have you heard today's results?
- Yes.
1384
01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:58,150
Have you ever had an operation?
1385
01:25:58,240 --> 01:26:01,073
Not a big one. Just an impacted wisdom tooth.
1386
01:26:02,480 --> 01:26:04,436
I must get my teeth seen to.
1387
01:26:04,520 --> 01:26:08,035
After this, it's silly to be frightened of the dentist.
1388
01:26:09,760 --> 01:26:12,718
Frank can't stand women with false teeth.
1389
01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,190
- Even old women.
- You're not old at all.
1390
01:26:18,120 --> 01:26:19,872
Was the operation all right?
1391
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:22,474
Yes. The operation was fine.
1392
01:26:22,560 --> 01:26:24,516
- You said it would be.
- Did I?
1393
01:26:26,160 --> 01:26:28,674
You can't always believe what doctors tell you.
1394
01:26:28,760 --> 01:26:30,716
Mary, I'm not a doctor yet.
1395
01:26:30,800 --> 01:26:32,756
As good as.
1396
01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:34,796
I believe you, anyway.
1397
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:37,598
Do you want another drink?
1398
01:26:40,480 --> 01:26:42,789
I'm going to get quite well, aren't I?
1399
01:26:44,160 --> 01:26:45,798
Without question.
1400
01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:47,836
Quite well.
1401
01:26:47,920 --> 01:26:50,559
But I'm afraid you're going to have
a whacking great scar.
1402
01:26:50,640 --> 01:26:53,871
- Oh, I don't mind that.
- Well it won't show.
1403
01:26:53,960 --> 01:26:56,793
By the time you're a granny,
you'll forget you ever had it.
1404
01:26:58,280 --> 01:27:00,191
I think it's time you went to sleep now.
1405
01:27:00,280 --> 01:27:04,239
I'll get Sister to give you an injection.
You won't mind that, will you?
1406
01:27:17,440 --> 01:27:20,398
- It's not easy but we have to do it always.
- But, sir...
1407
01:27:20,480 --> 01:27:23,040
- There's no "but" about it.
- Sir, I couldn't tell her.
1408
01:27:23,120 --> 01:27:25,588
- Because all the time I knew for certain.
- Do you?
1409
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,592
You don't know anything for certain. Nor do I.
Nor does anybody.
1410
01:27:28,680 --> 01:27:31,558
- How can there be any doubt?
- There's always doubt.
1411
01:27:31,640 --> 01:27:34,996
We could be wrong about what we found today.
We could be right.
1412
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:38,038
But tomorrow there might be a discovery
which could save her.
1413
01:27:38,120 --> 01:27:40,873
h six months' time,
she could be run over by a bus.
1414
01:27:40,960 --> 01:27:43,076
h a year's time we could be blown up.
1415
01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:47,438
In two years' time
you could be a very good doctor.
1416
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:50,273
But we can't be certain about anything.
1417
01:27:51,480 --> 01:27:53,436
- Get it?
- Yes, sir.
1418
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:55,476
Well, remember it.
1419
01:28:16,520 --> 01:28:18,476
Aah! My little Simon!
1420
01:28:24,960 --> 01:28:26,916
Come in.
1421
01:28:29,200 --> 01:28:31,156
- You are well?
- Yes.
1422
01:28:31,240 --> 01:28:33,196
Good. Strong?
1423
01:28:33,280 --> 01:28:35,919
- Yes.
- That's good.
1424
01:28:37,480 --> 01:28:40,233
- What is that you bring?
- This I bring is a bottle.
1425
01:28:40,320 --> 01:28:42,276
Oh, I see.
1426
01:28:42,360 --> 01:28:44,874
- Alcohol?
- It has alcohol in it.
1427
01:28:45,920 --> 01:28:48,753
You know, of this I do not approve.
It's weakening.
1428
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:52,560
It's supposed to be a tonic, taken in moderation.
1429
01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:54,596
With me you do not need the tonic.
1430
01:28:59,080 --> 01:29:01,719
- Ah.
- Ah. There are two points of view on that.
1431
01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:06,316
Oh!
1432
01:29:06,400 --> 01:29:09,517
There. We have the grapefruiting juice.
1433
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:13,756
You've set for three.
1434
01:29:13,840 --> 01:29:16,115
Oh, yes, yes. I did not tell.
1435
01:29:17,320 --> 01:29:19,709
It is my sister, Helga. She is visiting with me.
1436
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:21,518
Is she like you?
1437
01:29:21,600 --> 01:29:25,354
Yes, we are twin sets. But we are very close.
We share everything together.
1438
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:28,750
- What?
- But you will like her.
1439
01:29:28,840 --> 01:29:30,398
She is strong like me.
1440
01:29:30,480 --> 01:29:32,789
At home she teaches the physical culturings.
1441
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,796
And she will like you.
1442
01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:39,636
Yes, she will like you, too.
1443
01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:41,676
Have you got any more sisters?
1444
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:43,352
Oh, yes!
1445
01:29:43,440 --> 01:29:46,318
At home, Ilse... Ilse is the baby.
1446
01:29:46,400 --> 01:29:49,039
- She is a police cons-table
- A what?
1447
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:50,792
Police cons-table.
1448
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:53,189
How delightful.
1449
01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:57,835
Mm! That will be Helga.
1450
01:29:57,920 --> 01:30:01,117
Let her in, please. I will get the grapefruit juicing.
1451
01:30:11,440 --> 01:30:14,398
Ah... You are the sparrow.
1452
01:30:14,480 --> 01:30:17,472
- Er, yes.
- Sonja tells me about you.
1453
01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:20,916
She says you have a lovable. Have you?
1454
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:23,070
Apparently, yes.
1455
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:25,116
- We will see later, no?
- Yes.
1456
01:30:25,200 --> 01:30:27,475
Helga! I am here!
1457
01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:30,358
Good. I have the hunger.
1458
01:30:43,800 --> 01:30:46,030
- Are you liking my sister?
- She is charming.
1459
01:30:46,120 --> 01:30:49,396
She is liking you, too.
We have the agreeable evening, yes?
1460
01:30:51,560 --> 01:30:53,516
Yes, please?
1461
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,079
Ilse!
1462
01:30:55,160 --> 01:30:58,072
Where are you? In London?
1463
01:30:58,160 --> 01:31:00,310
Come round at once! Helga!
1464
01:31:00,400 --> 01:31:02,356
Is little Ilse!
1465
01:31:02,440 --> 01:31:04,396
Ilse!
1466
01:31:28,920 --> 01:31:32,435
Simon! It's Ilse! She is coming!
1467
01:31:36,880 --> 01:31:38,836
Simon?
1468
01:31:43,680 --> 01:31:45,830
W- What's wrong with the English?
1469
01:31:51,920 --> 01:31:54,070
We want to see
some engagement rings, please.
1470
01:31:54,160 --> 01:31:55,752
Not too expensive ones now, Simon.
1471
01:31:55,840 --> 01:31:58,877
Congratulations, sir.
I am sure we can tempt Father's generosity.
1472
01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:03,351
Don't be impertinent!
I'm not his father and the ring's for me!
1473
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:05,510
A perfectly natural mistake, Lancelot.
1474
01:32:05,600 --> 01:32:09,149
Ah, I understand.
May I get the size of your finger, please?
1475
01:32:09,240 --> 01:32:13,791
You'll get my hand across your face if you don't
hurry up and show me some diamonds.
1476
01:32:13,880 --> 01:32:16,235
When are you going to give it to Iris?
1477
01:32:16,320 --> 01:32:18,276
- Tomorrow.
- No regrets?
1478
01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:19,998
Oh, in for a penny, in for a pound.
1479
01:32:20,080 --> 01:32:22,992
I shouldn't have got this far
if it hadn't been for your help.
1480
01:32:23,080 --> 01:32:26,868
Well, after this, you can help me.
I'm going to a flat to pick up some things.
1481
01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:29,394
- If I can be of any assistance.
- I need protection.
1482
01:32:29,480 --> 01:32:32,153
The flat is guarded by three man-eating females.
1483
01:32:35,640 --> 01:32:37,596
Oh, it's you.
1484
01:32:37,680 --> 01:32:39,636
Did you forget something?
1485
01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:42,757
I just dropped by to pick up
some of the things I left behind.
1486
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:45,991
Er, Sonja, this is Sir Lancelot Spratt.
Miss Stromberg.
1487
01:32:46,080 --> 01:32:48,036
How are you doing?
1488
01:32:49,800 --> 01:32:51,756
Come in, please.
1489
01:32:54,160 --> 01:32:57,197
- Have you any sisters about?
- No, they have gone home.
1490
01:32:57,280 --> 01:32:59,794
- Oh, what a shame.
- Him you have met.
1491
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:01,916
It is now my fianc�.
1492
01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:03,991
There seems to be an epidemic.
1493
01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:06,036
You are a friend of Simon's?
1494
01:33:06,120 --> 01:33:08,076
- Yes.
- Sit.
1495
01:33:09,240 --> 01:33:10,992
You are old. That's good.
1496
01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:14,634
Simon needs the company of wise old men.
1497
01:33:14,720 --> 01:33:18,156
He smokes and drink s himself too much.
This is not good.
1498
01:33:18,240 --> 01:33:21,676
I used to tell him when we were
shaking ourselves down together.
1499
01:33:21,760 --> 01:33:22,715
Indeed?
1500
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:25,360
She is a remarkable woman.
1501
01:33:25,440 --> 01:33:27,237
She's a masseuse.
1502
01:33:27,320 --> 01:33:29,470
Physi-o-therapy.
1503
01:33:29,560 --> 01:33:32,393
We masseuses are strong. Strong in arm,
1504
01:33:32,480 --> 01:33:34,471
- strong in mind no?
- Madam.
1505
01:33:35,560 --> 01:33:37,516
And he is strong, too.
1506
01:33:37,600 --> 01:33:39,556
But not like me.
1507
01:33:39,640 --> 01:33:42,871
After we married, he leads a new life.
I change everything.
1508
01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:45,394
His ideas, his habits - everything!
1509
01:33:45,480 --> 01:33:47,436
That is what women do.
1510
01:33:48,480 --> 01:33:51,074
Otherwise they are losing their personalities.
1511
01:33:52,120 --> 01:33:54,918
- You are married?
- Not yet.
1512
01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:59,835
If you were married, your wife would make you
do exercise every day for your big stomaching.
1513
01:34:00,880 --> 01:34:02,757
It's too big!
1514
01:34:02,840 --> 01:34:04,796
You should eat nuts, not meat.
1515
01:34:04,880 --> 01:34:06,632
For him, no meat, never.
1516
01:34:07,680 --> 01:34:09,796
Nuts make virility.
1517
01:34:09,880 --> 01:34:11,711
That I demand.
1518
01:34:14,240 --> 01:34:15,992
Thank you, no.
1519
01:34:16,080 --> 01:34:18,036
Thank you, yes
1520
01:34:21,240 --> 01:34:23,470
You will not marry yourself now.
1521
01:34:23,560 --> 01:34:25,516
You would not like change.
1522
01:34:25,600 --> 01:34:27,830
And change you would have.
1523
01:34:27,920 --> 01:34:29,876
All women do it.
1524
01:34:31,160 --> 01:34:33,116
Not all men are liking it.
1525
01:34:34,160 --> 01:34:35,957
Madam, I'm inclined to agree with you.
1526
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:39,673
It's no use, Simon.
I've been thrashing it out all night.
1527
01:34:39,760 --> 01:34:43,309
You can't chuck everything up,
after all the help I've given you.
1528
01:34:43,400 --> 01:34:45,960
I know. I'm awfully grateful, but...
1529
01:34:47,160 --> 01:34:49,549
Well... Here, you take that.
1530
01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:52,108
You probably know somebody who'd like it.
1531
01:34:53,560 --> 01:34:55,198
Oh, good morning.
1532
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:58,158
Good morning.
I want to have a word with you, if I may.
1533
01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:00,196
I'm afraid I'm busy, Lancelot.
1534
01:35:00,280 --> 01:35:02,555
- He can wait, can't he?
- What do you mean?
1535
01:35:02,640 --> 01:35:04,471
Hey, now, look here, old chap.
1536
01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:07,472
I'm having my treatment!
You can't push me around like this!
1537
01:35:07,560 --> 01:35:08,993
That's just exactly what I can.
1538
01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:12,958
Help, somebody! Help, Sister! Nurse!
1539
01:35:13,040 --> 01:35:15,349
Hey, hey! Sergeant Major!
1540
01:35:15,440 --> 01:35:17,590
Dr. Sparrow, stop this damn thing!
1541
01:35:17,680 --> 01:35:19,989
- Where's the fire?
- Get me back in there!
1542
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:23,356
And what impertinence. Refusing me?
1543
01:35:23,440 --> 01:35:25,396
Well, you see, I love somebody else.
1544
01:35:25,480 --> 01:35:28,119
Might one enquire the name
of this whippersnapper?
1545
01:35:28,200 --> 01:35:30,589
- Him.
- Simon?!
1546
01:35:30,680 --> 01:35:32,238
- What?
- No, no.
1547
01:35:32,320 --> 01:35:33,673
Him.
1548
01:35:33,760 --> 01:35:35,830
You snake in the grass!
1549
01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:38,673
By Jericho, sir, if I had the use of my legs, I'd...
1550
01:35:40,760 --> 01:35:42,955
Somebody stop this ruddy thing!
1551
01:35:43,040 --> 01:35:45,156
Hey! Get out of the way!
1552
01:35:49,600 --> 01:35:51,750
Let me get at him!
1553
01:35:52,800 --> 01:35:55,872
But he needs me, Porker. He loves me.
1554
01:35:55,960 --> 01:35:59,032
- But it's not allowed. Not with a patient.
- It is if you marry them.
1555
01:35:59,120 --> 01:36:00,394
Let me near the villain!
1556
01:36:03,640 --> 01:36:05,312
- Major French.
- Hm?
1557
01:36:05,400 --> 01:36:06,549
You're walking.
1558
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:08,596
What?
1559
01:36:11,120 --> 01:36:12,758
Good grief.
1560
01:36:13,800 --> 01:36:15,756
Whoa...
1561
01:36:15,840 --> 01:36:20,152
Tommy! I knew your legs would get better!
What a marvelous surprise!
1562
01:36:20,240 --> 01:36:22,913
Well, there's plenty more where that came from!
1563
01:36:34,840 --> 01:36:37,638
Dr. Sparrow... you're wanted, sir, urgently.
1564
01:36:37,720 --> 01:36:39,676
Excuse me.
1565
01:36:41,720 --> 01:36:45,599
Well, I don't know what to say
on these occasions, but I know what to do.
1566
01:36:46,640 --> 01:36:48,710
Yes, well, th-th-that's plenty, sir.
1567
01:36:52,760 --> 01:36:55,957
- What kind of a case is it?
- I haven't seen anything quite like it, sir.
1568
01:36:56,040 --> 01:36:58,110
- You mean three heads.
- No, poodles.
1569
01:36:58,200 --> 01:36:59,952
- Poodles?
- Yes, sir. Pink.
1570
01:37:00,040 --> 01:37:01,678
Have you been at the ether?
1571
01:37:09,160 --> 01:37:10,115
Delia.
1572
01:37:10,200 --> 01:37:12,395
Ciao, caro!
1573
01:37:12,480 --> 01:37:14,675
Ciao. What happened?
1574
01:37:14,760 --> 01:37:18,878
- Didn't you get the part?
- No, I just got most of the presents.
1575
01:37:18,960 --> 01:37:20,916
So I can see.
1576
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,956
All right.
1577
01:37:23,040 --> 01:37:24,473
What are you doing here?
1578
01:37:24,560 --> 01:37:27,552
- I've come to get my latchkey. Have you got it?
- Yes, I have.
1579
01:37:27,640 --> 01:37:29,596
And I think I'm going to keep it.
1580
01:37:31,280 --> 01:37:33,635
- What are you doing?
- Well, as a matter of fact,
1581
01:37:33,720 --> 01:37:35,711
I'm waiting for you to drive me up to London,
1582
01:37:35,800 --> 01:37:39,236
because by a fabulous coincidence,
I've got the evening off.
1583
01:37:49,237 --> 01:37:52,037
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1584
01:37:55,037 --> 01:37:59,037
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